Yes, I am Fat

I’ve become recently obsessed with my weight. Ever since I can remember, I was the fat kid. The fat kid that was always out of breath, eating more then everyone else, couldn’t play as long, didn’t fit in anything for kids, yep, that was me. I am now the fat 18-year-old, still out of breath, eating more then everyone else, can’t participate in any activities, can’t shop anywhere but Pennington’s. I look at crazy transformation pictures on Instagram and wish I was capable to do what they do.

No one knows the true me. No one knows my true style or hobbies. I can’t wear what I want to wear cause I’m fat, can’t wear leggings, shorts, tank tops, sports bras, bralettes, capris… I will be bound to jeans, yoga pants, regular shirts and sweatshirts for the rest of my life. People act like they’re okay with being fat but they aren’t. There’s no way someone can enjoy being incapable of doing somethings because of there weight.

I forgot to mention according to the BMI scale, I am morbidly obese. Great feeling! I’m sure I’ll get comments about how lazy I am, I already know that. Get told that only I can change my weight, I am aware. No, I don’t want sympathy. I just don’t have it in me right now.



57 Responses

  1. Don’t count yourself out I’ve lost 90 pounds in two years. I always thought I never could. All it takes is making a lot of small changes that add up to big benefits. Good luck, you can do it.

  2. Then actually do something about it, dont be one of the crowd that says they will do something and never does. Stand out!

  3. Get a dog and take it for a walk once a day every day.

  4. Tony Rinaldi says:

    You know, you know, you know… but you don’t wanna do nothing about it. So then why are you posting ???

  5. Go see Ray and AL at family kick boxing. They’re great and will help you anyway they can to become the person you want to be

  6. I’m sorry you’re going through this struggle with yourself, but please don’t try and be the voice for all plus size women by saying we can’t wear certain thingsand that nobody is happy being bigger. I’m plus size, I wear shorts, crop tops, leggings,short dresses and whatever the hell else I want. These are your own insecurities and I’m sorry you have them, because if you didn’t then you would just learn to love yourself for who you are. But this is not how all bigger girls feel, I do everything that my skinny best friend does, I don’t let my weight get in the way of anything. I hope you learn to love yourself one day before you decide to lose the weight because no matter what size you are and the clothing you are going to buy, you still won’t be happy .

  7. Be who you are…I don’t give a crap what ppl think…just be careful n stay within limits and whoever shatters ur inner you tell them to f off…sounds like u are aware…ya be alright !

  8. You can still wear all those things you said you can’t. You can still do things normal in shape people do. Maybe not as fast but you’ll get there. The biggest thing “fat” people do is put limits on themselves. That’s BULLSHIT. I watched my sister in law run a 5k when she was 320! She was far from first but she finished that race! I know women who can do the splits and can do yoga,dancing,sports amazingly! Please STOP limiting yourself and continue to try and push yourself. I’m fat. I get it. But live your LIFE! Love yourself even though you want to improve your body! Don’t let your weight define you or stop you from achieving anything. And honestly? Who gives a fuck what anybody else thinks. If someone calls you fat call them an idiot because you aren’t fat,you have fat. There are dipshits everywhere in the world. Whether you’re fat or skinny it will always be something that some low life with no self esteem will try to point out about you that will make them feel better about themselves. I’ve learned to live my life for me. Regardless of what anybody else thinks. I’ll finish with:

    What other people think of you is none of your business. -Deepak Chopra.

  9. You aren’t alone that’s for sure, I always gain or lose weight it’s a never ending battle. It is very hard when you see something so nice you want but can’t cause they don’t have it in your size cause it was only made for a person that’s size 9 to wear for it to properly look nice. When you are ready to take the plunge and get healthy for yourself you’ll feel amazing that you did it and stayed true with it. I wish you the best for when you are ready. Nobody can force you into something you aren’t ready to do just yet, but don’t wait too long neither it will be harder to lose weight.

  10. J.D. Pearce says:

    Went from 250 to 170. Back up to around 200 with some muscle now and a belly to get rid of. Dieting is the hardest part

  11. Be nice, maybe she’s reaching out for the first time 🙁

  12. I was like 280lbs and I dropped it all by diet alone so it is possible and would be glad to help you with lifestyle changes that make all the difference ,I was a 14 in pants and now I’m a 6-7

  13. Tanya Werden says:

    The thing is…you do have it in you, you just don’t know it yet. Good luck.

  14. OP look into Keto. Lots of helpful resources here :

  15. Read this book. It gets to the real issues behind being over weight and is an excellent read on carb cycling. Half the battle is believing in ourselves! We can do this!

  16. Get a referral to the bariatric clinic in sudbury. I feel for you as I was once where you are. Good luck with your journey and know that you are not alone.

  17. Not easy but can be done keep busy exercise preferably for me walking was what I chose I still live by Dr Phil to this day easy pick what you wanna eat the book it pretty good start after Christmas in the spring you’ll love the transformation

  18. awww i feel for you. You don’t need to feel this way about yourself. I’ve been there and i’m still on my journey to find me and see myself. We all have flaws. No one is perfect nor will anyone ever be. I never thought i’d be championing body positivity or opening a store, doing blogs, etc… but i have and it’s incredible. Seriously check out my blog it may help you. We are all out there, you aren’t alone, there are so may amazing people who care for each other in the bopo community. They saved me from myself and the hate i felt for myself. Maybe they can do that for you. Here’s my blog, read it or don’t but i think it would help.

    • Jo Watson says:

      I’m a plus size and love my curves!

    • I’m also plus size and I never thought i could love myself. I let go for a while and stopped caring. I became so sad, depressed, angry, and hurt. I bought in for so long and it didn’t help with the shit my family did along the way. Now i dress crazy, express myself, love myself! ALL of me! I live to paint the world with my smile and help others gain theirs too. I laugh more than cry, i dance and live. It takes that one step to move forward. We are our own worst critics. Shut it down and tell the critic to take a hike. I did. She/he just took that step forward, it’s the first step on the body positive journey by posting this. Jo Watson i’m so glad you found that love for yourself!! It’s amazing isn’t it?

  19. Lisa Seguin says:

    Don’t beat yourself up honey.You’ll reach your goal one day!!!

  20. If you want to message me I am looking for a buddy who wants to do exercise.. I have tried diets like nobody else … every one of those pills all those shakes measuring food and exercise until I can barely walk …. I am no longer mobidly obese but I am still obese… these damn boobs and ass …. but I am more than willing to start small hang out and maybe even dance some of the weight away.. There is no PERFECT weight… if you are happy and healthy you dont have to be 150 or 120 pounds we are all made differently and thats what makes us unique. you can do what makes you comfortable and happy.. surgery is always an option but i can tell you it is NOT the easy way out. I have freinds who it worked wonders for and other who let themselves go… if you cannot commit to a whole lifestyle change then dont even think of surgery as an option.

  21. just remember if you start now and lose one pound a week in a year that is 52 pounds

  22. The BMI scale states that my “ideal healthy” weight should be between 145-170lbs. If I dropped to 170, I’d look sick. If I dropped to 160 or lower, people would think I’m dying. Those scales are bullshit. You have to be comfortable in your skin. Any small change in a diet makes a difference. It must be taken with small steps. For instance, focus on consuming more water every day. Or try eating a little more fruits and vegetables during the day. Completely changing your eating habits is very difficult but if done slowly and gradually over a period of time, it’s easier. Healthy eating and lifestyle takes time, as does seeing results. Nothing is set in stone. It could take months but your body will love the healthy stuff and trust me, you’ll see it. Consistency is key. Keep at it, don’t lose motivation, and the rest will fall into place. Remember, it’s 80% consumption and 20% exercise. Health comes from what you eat.

    • Rebecca Dee says:

      ^even medically, most health care professionals will tell you those are ridiculously dated and inaccurate. In sum: Don’t concern yourself with a BMI

  23. If you’d like you can pm me. I’ve flushed 90lbs down the toilet since the spring. I can tell you what I’ve done. It may be a bit of a struggle at first but, it gets easier over time. I’m not on a diet, I just changed the way I eat.

  24. Lee Tessier says:

    If you’ve tried to loose and haven’t succeeded look at Bariatric surgery

  25. Talk to a counsellor or therapist or something. Certain personal trainers are also helpful, but you have psychological barriers to overcome before you can successfully start to lose weight. It’s not an easy journey, but the way you’re talking now, it will be so worth it when you wear what you want confidently.

    And for the record, you CAN wear whatever you want. Jerks might tell you otherwise and we are all guilty of thinking we don’t look good in something but for real, wear what you want.

    Swimming is an awesome way to start. I know people from my hometown who started by walking in the shallow end and gradually worked their way to swimming lengths. You don’t have to be an Instagram fitness sensation overnight. It takes time, but the amazing thing is that you are so young! You don’t have to resign yourself to a life of yoga pants and oversized shirts because you think you need to, but once you get to a healthy weight you will think of them as your comfy Sunday friends!

  26. It’s not always what you eat that makes a difference like in my case. Find an activity you enjoy, get moving and stick to it! 🙂

  27. Amy Blount says:

    OP, I was you, all my life. The ‘fat kid’, I know what it’s like to walk in your shoes. I’ve recently lost a bunch of weight and am the smallest I’ve been in my adult life. Don’t worry, I’m not going to preach tips or try to get you to change your lifestyle, unless you ask, lol. PM me anytime, you’re not alone.

  28. Zack Tryon says:

    That sucks. At least you didn’t blame it on genetics lmfao

  29. Jo Watson says:

    First, if your not happy you can change things slowly. Fast is unhealthy.

    Second many people struggle with weight.

    I use to be a weight loss councilor working with dieticians.

    Think of your body like a car.

    You need to give it food to make it work properly.

    Eat within the first 30 minutes of waking up. Ugh I know right… this starts your metabolism.

    Eat a small snack 2 to 3 hrs later. Then again 2 to 3 hours later eat lunch. After that another 2 to 3 hours later small snack ideally fruits. Dinner is 2 to 3 hours after your afternoon snack.

    Stop eating 2 hrs before you go to sleep.

    This is the best time line for success.

    People think too much food is bad. This isn’t true. It is too much of bad foods you have to be careful of.

    Your portion sizes. Okay your meat can be about the size of your fist you’re grains/starches should be half that. Veggies can be eaten the most of.

    Okay this is very very generic and medical issues can change it all.

    Honestly go for a walk around the mall every evening or around the block. Yeah it sucks but it will start to get you active.

    Every little bit helps.

    A dietitian can help you with an exact menu plan for your age, weight, hight, gender, physical fitness, and medical conditions.

    Hope isn’t lost and remember….

    Today is the start to the rest of your life

    You can’t change the past but the future is anything you choose to make it

    You will definitely have hard days that you flat out fail at. Just remember even amazing students get bad marks occasionally.

    Just find out what you’re why is and you will achieve it if your goal is big enough.

  30. Benni Norris says:

    I don’t get the point of this post. Do you think that any of these things make you unique? About 30% of Canadian adults are obese, and most can tell you the exact same story. You might as well complain that you can’t do advanced algebra because that is about as unique and difficult to solve as being over weight.

  31. Roger Blake says:

    I thought this was heading somewhere. Like a New Years resolution or something.

  32. Pam M Burton says:

    Sweetie first thing you have to do is stop beating yourself up over it. Make yourself happy and you will do great 🙂 message me if you’d like to talk 🙂 I used to be a arobics instructor so I have a few tricks and tips 😉

  33. So, what was the point of this post?

    • Pam M Burton says:

      To learn how to have empathy for people… failed

    • No, I genuinely was wondering if there was a point to this post. Don’t act as if you are to decide whether I have empathy or not.

    • Like, literally the only thing I got from this post was ‘ I’m fat, I don’t like it, I am not ready to do anything about it yet ‘ which okay, is great, but why share a generic post about it, without an actual point.

    • Jo Watson says:

      Learn to read between the words written. It is a request for compassion and maybe some insight to success

    • it’s a last resort. I was this person years ago, as i read this i teared up just knowing the pain. The screams of wanting to fit and be loved and accepted. This is a terrible place to be. But it can get better. We can do better. We ALL deserve to be loved, respected, and supported.

    • That I understand. I’m in the same place myself. I guess the post was just kind of all over the place, and I get the general point they were trying to make, but the post itself just doesn’t really seem to have an actual ‘point ‘.

    • it really does. read it again. Feel it, really hear it. It’s someone who doesn’t know what to do. That’s the point. It’s a painful plea, a want for what seems to far off, it’s hoplesness. Like nothing will ever get better. I’m sure you’ve felt a moment like that. When we are in pain or hurting we often don’t word things rationally.

    • Pam M Burton says:

      Rachel Hensher I like you……you sound like you are a wise soul ♡

    • Pam M Burton Thanks. It comes from being there and understanding that pain. It’s a terrible place to be and the pain is unbearable. I hate seeing others experience that. I want to do anything i can to help others get through it safely and with love. We all need to be held up sometimes and pulled back into life. This person is asking for a hand to hold and a place to start. We should all offer that more often.