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Why not be upfront

I do not get why there are people who go on the apps and state things like “ready to settle down” or “looking for a long-term relationship” or “want to be married” but then are not looking for that. There are plenty of men and women who do want just a fling or FWB type deal. Why do you need to step into the territory of those not looking for that?

Then they breadcrumb you with just enough attention and time to make you wonder if it is you. I hear this from many people I have spoken to about being single and trying to date. I know a lot of people feel hurt from previous relationships they most likely should have ended sooner than they did… And I just don’t understand the need to do this to people and why we keep falling for this.

I guess we justify poor behaviour because the rest of the time they’re nice but actions and behaviours speak more than the words they say.

So all of you out there hurting and not understanding why this dating thing is so hard… It is true because people are not who they say they are but are who they show you. Stop telling yourself they’re busy, you wanting their time makes you needy, or any of that. Someone who truly wants you in their life will do what they can when they can to have you in it.

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3 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Buyers remorse.

  2. Anonymous says:

    High risk ,low reward as you pointed out people have baggage. Ain’t nobody want to deal with someone’s emotional trauma investing time energy and effort into someone they don’t fucking know.

    It’s the same reason you don’t post all your emotional baggage on your profile (or at least I would hope you don’t) you usually wait until you meet someone, get to know them and then unleash all your emotional pain on someone

    The average person isn’t a therapist how the fuck and I supposed to deal with my own shit, and yours.

    Someone may very well be looking for marriage, but you know lots of things go into making a relationship, chemistry,personality, sexual compatibility.

    Hypersensitive Lonely heart looking for love online not understanding that there are indeed “plenty of fish” in the sea

  3. Anonymous says:

    Maybe after they had you the longterm option went out the window…

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