To Every Person Who Has Ever Loved A Narcissist And Lost Themselves In The Process

Have you ever been in love so naively, so strongly, so passionately with someone that you couldn’t believe how lucky you are to have finally found a person who is everything you were looking for? Well, I have. Unluckily, with a narcissist.

That narcissist destroyed me. Broke my heart. Sadness was coming to me in waves and happiness was nowhere to be found. The pain was so intense that it left me numb. I was once a romantic, a believer and fighter for true love. Now, I am a skeptic and I don’t believe in love anymore.

And I wonder, will I ever be able to feel like myself again? Can I love again? Because God knows I have almost given up.

Of course, I wasn’t like this. I was one of those happy bubbly people that are always grateful for what they have and always have a smile on their face. I was the most enthusiastic and optimistic person who always believed in the power of love.

However, my experience with the narcissist has changed me to the core. Now I am not half the person I used to be. The happiness and enthusiasm that I once had, are now fears and anxieties that I must face every single day.

I trusted the narcissist. I was convinced that what we had was something special. They made me feel things I’ve never felt before. I thought they were having my back. I thought they loved me with the same intensity as I loved them… How wrong was I…

They made me feel safe with them so that I would drop my guard. And once I did, their mission was complete because I was completely vulnerable, unprotected, and at their mercy.

I guess the joke’s on me. It was my fault for allowing someone like that into my life and heart. Someone with a long history of broken relationships and broken hearts. Someone incapable of loving anyone other than themselves.

That was my mistake. I thought they would change. I thought my love would change them. I offered them my heart, my body, and my soul. Every cell of my body was full of love for them. An unconditional and selfless love…

The narcissist made me a prisoner of myself and my love. Because I have lost myself in the arms of someone who was ruthlessly destroying the lives of everyone who loved them.

Yes, I lost myself to a narcissist… I was romanticizing my suffering and pain and calling it love. I thought I was a fighter for love. I never noticed that I was fighting alone.

In the process of loving them, I lost my self-worth and my confidence. I took the blame for everything. I let them manipulate me. I let them use me for their own selfish purposes… That’s how I lost myself.

Luckily, I have found myself again.

I went through hell, but I came back stronger than ever. And I am glad I did because I learned a valuable life lesson.

Because of them, now I know what I want and what I deserve.

And I won’t be fooled again.



41 Responses

  1. Renee Di Renee Di says:

    I had a lengthy friendship – was my best friend for 17 years. Then we started dating and I saw for myself why his ex wife was lucky he left the marriage. Narcissists are so good at showing themselves up as great people…. get them behind closed doors and they fuck you up. Hard. I don’t think I will ever trust another man again. I find it hard to believe anyone who says they care about me because he did so much damage. Definitely changes who you are right down to the core.

  2. Dave Seguin Dave Seguin says:

    They suck the life out of you fast. Nothing matters anymore not marriage not a house. all lifes joys are nothing when theyre through.

  3. I feel like I could have written this. So many go through this.

  4. SO WELL SAID! 100%! Thank you!

  5. I’ve been there hun! Trust me things get better!! You will find the man you belong with. With every heart break comes a lesson to be learned. Too bad you had to learn it the hard way. Took me almost a year to get over the man I dated who was exactly what you described, but once I did I found a real man who loves me unconditionally, who stood by me and made me feel beautiful again. He is now my husband =)

  6. Forgive him and stay good to yourself xoxo never give up always stay positive xoxo

  7. Thought I was reading my life story. Brought tears to my eyes. But I can tell you sweetheart that there is life after heartache. I was in the same relationship for 18 years. I often asked myself why dont I leave, but my self worth was gone. I was damaged. Then I woke up one morning and said enough. Im taking my life back and I did. And now I am in a healthy stable relationship. Dont ever give up. Love is out there.

  8. Britt Any Britt Any says:

    I know the feeling, and i was sucker and let him back into my life several times hoping that he could be a better person. Never allow yourself to do this. It will only brake you down more. You deserve better and will find better. Good for you. Keep your chin up and keep moving on, no matter what, always know your worth ❤

  9. Never stop believing! This experience made u stronger and u will find everything u need again 🙂

  10. Lindsay Reid…. familiar?? Amazing how many people have experienced very similar situations..

  11. I get it.. you’re hurt and angry and that’s okay. But just remember .. let it hurt, and then let it go ! There isn’t a single person out there worth your happiness.

  12. Ginger Niemi Ginger Niemi says:

    You are not alone. It takes time to heal and move on, but it does happen.

  13. I promise you will find the right person. The one that will show you everything you never knew that you were missing. I once loved a narcissist I can relate to everything I just read but after a few years of finding myself I also found the best thing that ever happened to me aside from my kiddos.

  14. Shawn Timony Shawn Timony says:

    My ex spent 18 years constructively destroying my self worth and alienating me from family. She left me when she found out that I went to therapy to deal with her selfishness. Then she got jealous when other women started paying attention to me.

  15. Lana Ranger Lana Ranger says:

    Some of us gravitate toward these people 🙁 doomed…

  16. Learn to pick up on the signs and especially learn why you attracted one. Either you were vulnerable or co dependent. Narcs are made and usually have a narc mother.

  17. Check out Richard Grannon on YouTube!!!

  18. Rosalie Charlebois, Emily Filiatreault

  19. If anyone need’s an way out just messaged me I’ll do my best help out, no one deserves be treated like this Male or female’s.

  20. Ronin Miller Ronin Miller says:

    oh boo hoo dude, its happens. welcome to life, nut up and get back out there

  21. I definitely could have wrote this, too. Nice knowing we are not alone.

  22. Julie Babe Julie Babe says:

    Is this the same person who sent in “cheating is cheating”?
    Too much time on your hands

  23. If you could love the wrong person this much, can you imagine how much you will love the right one.

  24. to all those going through this, there is an out. find it and take it. It doesn’t get better You go girl and peace and love sent to you.

  25. Matt Frawley Matt Frawley says:

    I like those narcissist women, their always looking good , because their always looking in the mirror.

  26. I dated one too, you learn lots from them, and your self worth. When u find love again which will happen, u will have walls but with time it gets broke down. I promise you, the next relationship will be better because you have learned from a narcissist’s behaviour. My ex was selfish and didnt care about my feelings.

  27. It gets better when you let go…trust me.

  28. Maureen Monk Maureen Monk says:

    Lots if these here ugh

  29. I dated someone like this . He would tell me he loves me and that nothing will ever change . And then I found out from a friend he was cheating on me and when I called him to see what was going on he got mad at me . And broke up with me . And said the chick was always at his place for his roommates sister . It was a big house of lies

  30. Steve Rowley Steve Rowley says:

    Shit wtf happened here…too much to read or care about

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