Shoutout to a great stepmom – a thank you and an apology
So, when you first came into my children’s lives, to say I was less than thrilled is an understatement. I didn’t care that you were with my ex-husband, but when my kids would come home and tell me all these wonderful things about you and how much fun they had with you, I hated it.
Then when we finally met in person, I hated you a little more. I was hoping you would be ugly and out of shape and didn’t have a good job and snobby and you were the opposite of those things. Everytime you showed up to a Christmas concert at school or baseball game or school play, I cringed. I felt that you were overstepping your boundaries by being there. Once you got married and were officially their stepmother I couldn’t say anything about you attending, but I know I made you uncomfortable, that I overstepped my boundaries and I made things difficult for you at times.
Fast forward to I start dating again. The first man I introduced the kids to was nice to them and always respected them (I wouldn’t introduce him if I wasn’t sure of that), but did he love them? No. I then went on to date a man who had children himself. He cared about my kids and I cared about his, but it wasn’t until this relationship that I realized how hard it is to love someone’s kids like you love your own, especially when the ex makes everything a challenge. As much as I wanted his kids to do well and was always kind to them, I didn’t love them. Similarly, he never loved mine. Cared? 100% but not truly loved. But you, you truly loved my kids. You rooted for them in everything they did. You helped with homework, you came to every school event, you took care of them when they were sick, made their birthdays and holidays special. And I now know that if something were to happen to me, my kids would have a mother that loved them dearly.
If anyone else had loved my kids this much, I would be singing their praises and it wasn’t until I realized how hard it is to love someone else’s kid, so, I am SORRY. I am sorry I was jealous of you and made your life less than fun at times I am sure. I am sorry that I was so quick to point out to teachers that I was the REAL mom. And I want to thank you for loving my kids so much. RB, thank you!