Personal Space

I hate being touched and hugged by anyone other than my husband. He knows this, his family knows this and they think it is hilarious to wrap themselves around me. I hate it absolutely sends me into high anxiety. I had to go to a party this weekend and I specifically asked my husband to tell his sister and family not to touch me. I asked him again and he assured me that he told them to stop it. I went to the party and told one extended family member not to touch me as I do not like being touched, while he was heading directly to me for a bear hug. He respected it and backed off. I avoided the huggers and when I went to leave, my sister in law comes barrelling at me with arms out. I told her twice to back away and turned my back on her. She said something rude, and I am pretty sure flipped me off. WTF do they not understand? Not all people are huggy kissing with everyone. Hey, if you like getting that kind of affection, good for you. For me, it triggers a flight or fights response. I dread going to his family place for Christmas. Sigh.



1 Response

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Perhaps you need to sit down with them and explain the level of discomfort you feel when faced with these situations. Tell them that you enjoy participating but the fear of being touched is almost enough to keep you away. Tell them it’s not personal and that you don’t mean to hurt or offend them. Also, try to shake hands instead. I completely understand your feelings and know that many people won’t understand and will take it personally. So either talk to them one on one and hope they respect you enough to abide your wishes even if they don’t understand or reside yourself to being the hated black sheep. Neither is easy.


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