I really can’t understand this
Lately especially due to certain circumstances, I have been feeling more insecure than ever. Im constantly comparing myself to other women and wanting to make artificial changes to myself in order to fulfil this desire to look “perfect”.
My boyfriend tells me that I’m beautiful all the time and that he doesn’t want me to change, but it’s almost like my brain is telling me he’s lying and just telling me what I want to hear. It’s torture. Waking up everyday and looking in the mirror just to find something else that I don’t like and wish I could change about myself. Whenever I’m out with my boyfriend I constantly accuse him of checking out other women, just to have him deny it. I feel like I’m going crazy. He’s never physically cheated on me. He’s always been pretty honest with me so I don’t know why I don’t trust him.
I feel like everyday I battle these insecurities and some times it’s so bad I just want to die to escape these intense emotions. Society has given us a reason to believe that plastic is what we need to look like in order to be flawless. Not everyone can just go and fix what they don’t like about themselves. I talk to my therapists about this. I still don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.