I never thought I would be this way.
I never thought I would become a crack addict. But I did. I’ve struggled with substance abuse issues for over ten years. I really really loved cocaine throughout all of it. And benzos, those had their hold on me as well. Nothing however has held its grip so tightly as crack. I always told myself I would never touch it, its gross, waste of money.
Now it’s one of my favourite things. I didnt mean for it to become a part of my life. I went through a hellish bit before touching it. I lost my apartment, the first person I felt a connection to in a while, lost family. I was at my breaking point, I was doing lines while a friend was smoking. I had never had the urge before.
But, I picked it up, and that was it. One hit. And I found myself wanting more. At first I took time between uses. Now at not even two months in… it’s a daily habit. I have lost friends over this. Spent the last of my money on it. I would never offer someone their first hit because I couldnt live with myself.