I am in search for advise, new to this whole drug abuse world, I have a brother who has 3 daughters in his care, I was recently visiting and had informed him I would by his place around noon hour and would stay the night. I arrive he is not home but the three daughters are home by themselves ages 7, 10, and 12 so I asked them where there father was they say he’s gone to the bank and would be right back so I wasn’t concerned. I then left to do some running around assuming he would be right back. I then return after my errands a couple hours later he is still not home, kids are hungry so I feed them. Long story short he returns 7 pm that night. A whole day gone without him around. He comes home for a couple hours, we all go to sleep, we wake up and he’s gone again. A whole day again. I had to leave but another family member had come to stay with girls. As a family member I am worried, some people say I over react but given the ages of these kids would you consider this child neglect? Who knows how long these kids are left alone and how often when we are not around.



71 Responses

  1. Could be an isolated incident. But if your gut says something is just not right, call CAS, they will investigate. They are professionals they’ll know what to do. Better to be safe then sorry.

  2. At 12 he can leave the oldest to baby sit but thats generally not for an entire day.

    People hear that and think “great I can cancel my regular daycare!”… but no, your 12 yr old is not responsible or old enough to provide full day child care, especially to 2 other children. A few hours while you attend a meeting or a short event, see a movie with your hubby, run some errands… yes that’s acceptable but typical 12 yr olds do not have the “know-how” required to provide full day childcare and 3 round meals and emergency intervention when needed. I mean, if yours can then wow you should give yourself a pat on the back…. but reality is that most cant.

    He should of had premade meals ready and snacks available as well as left a list of emergency contact numbers and someone on call JUST incase. But he did none of that based solely on the story provided.

    As such, yes… you should be contacting children’s aid but also talk to him… find out what’s going on if he will tell you… if you dont know for a fact that he is on drugs then you cannot claim that’s why hes leaving for the entire day. But if he is on drugs and you know this (and I’m NOT referring to weed) then every time he takes off for a day on end he risks never coming home to those kids… who will then sit there wondering for hours where dad is before coming to the realization they need to call for help.

  3. Marc Verdon Marc Verdon says:

    How do you know he is on drugs? You obviously don’t know shit about your brother. Probably just trying to get away from you and I can understand why.

  4. Smack that 12 year old upside the head and tell her to smarten up. 12 is WAY more than old enough to look after your siblings, why tf wasn’t she making food for them?? Why wasn’t she looking after her sisters?? This is what’s wrong with this photo, not dad taking a few hours to himself during the school break…

  5. John Brown John Brown says:

    Based on the info,…yes its neglect. Your raise your children. Thou,…info is very patchy. But if drugs are involved. Then theres much more going on than meets the eye.

  6. the 12 yr old is old enough to babysit

  7. Like most people are saying, the 12 year old is old enough to babysit, but leaving them alone that long without having prepared them food is awful. You definitely need to talk to him about it.

  8. At 12 she can babysit, especially a 7 and 10 year old, but being gone all day isn’t ok. Make sure there’s food in the house that they can prepare and that he’s not getting home after dark. I would just talk to him about it though.

  9. what the heck does this have to do with drugs?

  10. Instead of cas maybe the family should get together and see if there is anyway they can help more those girls does not matter what age should not be left alone for that length of time anything could happen..

  11. James Fine James Fine says:

    Call the CA and quit fucking around.

  12. 12 years old is old enough to be allowed to babysit. Maybe talk to your brother and discuss feeding routines etc with the 12 year old.

    My mom was a single parent. I stayed home with my little sister all the time. I was responsible for her in those hours so there for it was also my job to make sure that she was fed.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      Ashley Marsolais not realy. 12 doesn’t make it ok. It’s a number. My child is 12 and isn’t ready. So no I’m not gonna leave her with my 2 year old alone until she is ready. Not every circumstance is the same. I’m gonna let her be 12 and not take on my responsibility as a parent.

    • Reba Twain ok well these children are older than your 2 year old. I wouldn’t leave my daughter alone with my 2 year old even though she’s amazing with him. I was babysitting my 5 year old sister when I was 12 while my mom went out and did errands for a couple of hours. Parents these days are just overprotective.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      So what if I protect my child. Sounds like you don’t care about yours at all. Ya maybe 20 years ago our parents did this. Welcome to the new age. I’m responsible for my own kids. I don’t leave my 12 year old with my 2 year old. Jeez you presume a lot.

  13. Braids Riel Braids Riel says:

    why did you title this drugs?

  14. Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

    Sounds like it’s time for intervention. CAS doesn’t have to be called. They make it worse. I would ask family to help and offer to bring him to detox.

  15. Did you discuss any of this with your brother? That would be step 1..

  16. You need to protect those children and now before something horrible happens

  17. 12 is the age of responsible babysitting especially a 10 and 7 year old. But absolutely not acceptable to leave for that length of time..

  18. I’d talk to your brother and hopefully have a family member or mother (if good parent) take the kids full-time for a while. You can’t leave children unattended for an unknown period of time, without contact number to reach the parent.

    I’m sure the 12 year old is capable of watching her siblings for a short period of time, however there still needs to be guidance. She should know when her parent is coming back and should be able to contact that parent in case of emergencies.

  19. 12 years old is old enough to baby sit as per babysitting course and it’s from dawn till dusk later then no

  20. Lisa D White Lisa D White says:

    Think of those girls, WHAT IF he is into drugs and those girls find him DEAD!!! CAS call now!!

  21. Jeff Pigeon Jeff Pigeon says:

    Who cares about your brother he is making his choices. You need to think about those three children and how they can not be left alone, call CAS, or have someone take them from an obviously neglectful father.

  22. Your brother is messed up .call CAS

  23. Where the mother? If she not around I would call cas if you are concerned

  24. Kids start babysitting and watching their younger siblings at like 10 years old. The 12 year old is old enough to watch her younger sisters. The only thing I see wrong here is the 12 year old not taking care of her sisters well enough by not feeding them.

    • And there are all too many guys out here in sudbury who work 12 hour days. 7am-7pm makes sense he comes home. Sleeps and then gone again in the am for work..

    • Ann Laframboise wasnt talking to you. I based my opinion. My sister watched me on a daily basis when both my parents were working. It’s called helping the family. And I didnt ask your opinion.

    • Ann Laframboise wasnt talking to you. I based my opinion. My sister watched me on a daily basis when both my parents were working. It’s called helping the family. And I didnt ask your opinion.

    • A 12 year old is usually capable of watching their younger siblings for short periods of time but can’t be expected to provide proper meals, etc. And in this case the kids thought their dad was coming right back, obviously not prepared for him to be gone all day. If you’re gonna let your 12 year old babysit they need to know exactly where you are, how to reach you, when you’ll be back, and their responsibilities in terms of what to feed their siblings and when.

    • James Laforest it’s one thing to baby sit for a few hours, it’s quite another thing to be constantly left alone with a father on drugs. Very big differences

    • Lori Shyakaselli yeah. But she also stated she was going to be there from noon and stay the night. Thus he may have thought somebody was there to watch them no?

    • Joe Wilson Joe Wilson says:

      A 12 year old is usually capable of understanding a work schedule. My kids know when I am going to work… the eldest is 7.

    • Joe Wilson Joe Wilson says:

      The point being they wouldn’t have said he was gone to the bank and will be right back

    • Joe Wilson he didnt have to be at work. It was just an example that he may have been gone. Knowing his sister was going to be there for the night. Hell if I was going to the bank, and got a call or had something else to do. Knowing full well somebody was going to be there. I wouldn’t have anything to worry about. Well maybe if I was him just my sister assuming I’m a drug addict and a bad parent…

    • James Laforest i would expect if you were going to the bank and got a call that you had to be somewhere els you would at least call the sister or the house to inform the children..

    • Kayla Mussar Kayla Mussar says:

      Ann Laframboise I’m with you. Everyone has a phone in some way or another (there are still pay phones out there) and he could have called if he knew he was going to be out longer than a quick “errand to the bank”. Absolutely most 12 year olds are capable of babysitting but not without instruction (ie they’ll have to make lunch and dinner for everyone; bedtimes etc).

    • Joe Wilson Joe Wilson says:

      James Laforest but as a responsible adult I am sure you would call home to make sure your sister knew you would be away and make sure it was cool that she watch your kids?

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      He doesn’t have any kids and if he does he shouldn’t he acts like a kid.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      James Laforest oh I see why you disregard and disrespect people now. You were never raised properly. Kids raising kids.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      Guess what I have a 12 year old and I still don’t leave her alone yet. It’s called being involved.

    • Reba Twain prob cause you’re afraid she will become like her mother…lol we all know how you were raise. And wait. How old are you to have a 12 year old? Exactly.

    • Reba Twain and what’s wrong with a 12 year old learning responsibility? O right at that age you were prob doing e.

    • Kye Coulis Kye Coulis says:

      James Laforest you are an idiot

    • Found the irresponsible father of the year. Wanna step on up and claim your trophy. Do you not call your baby sitters to let them know they will be watching your kids or even asking them? What if the aunt didn’t show up on time. What if she did her errands first. What if one of the kids got hurt and no one to call cause dad’s at the “bank” what bank even though it’s not really a bank and we all know it. So what Then? What if the baby sitter got hurt and was in emerge all day before going over and no one showed up for them at all? What then. But yes this is absolutely okay to any parent who is epically failing and should have never reproduced

    • James Nash James Nash says:

      Why cant his sister get a hotel. So shes mooching and ivading his home? Not saying this is correct but i agree with james. In our day the oldest child would watch the youngest while the parents were at work. I watched my brother at 12 and he was 6. I was able to make eggs at age 7, although i was taught limited use with the stove at that time. Funny how these days most kids cant cook an egg to save their lives but they can teach anyone to use a cell phone or tablet

    • Daniel Blais Daniel Blais says:

      James Laforest you’re an idiot

    • James Nash we definitely agree 12 years old should be responsible
      Enough to baby sit. We were just saying if dad disappears says he’ll be back at a certain time
      And dosent return? Ya that’s a problem lol

    • James Laforest i don’t know who Reba is but to make
      Fun of
      How old she was
      She had a baby just shows how much of a complete loser you are. My beat friend gave birth to her
      Now 16 year old son
      When she was
      16 and she’s now an amazing
      High school teacher. Lol. So fuck your judgment loser.
      Speaking of judgment I’ll chime in. You were a loser back in the day and hour more of a loser now lol. The moment you spew out pointless arguments makes it easy for others how slow you are. I feel bad for your future spawns.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      I actually don’t use drugs at all. You can presume what you like. I finished my high school and college, I can only hope she will amount to that. James I’ve never met you in my life and you added me on Facebook constantly hitting on me. I rejected you and now your angry and spread rumors. I don’t even smoke cigarettes haha let alone drink. My 12 year old isnt equipped to be alone yet, as her mom it’s my choice and none of your buisness realy.

    • Reba Twain Reba Twain says:

      The world is changing. Why do we put our shit on our oldest kids. They didnt give birth we did. Opinions are like assholes everyone has one right.

    • Reba Twain

      You should be ashamed of yourself adding comments that are totally unfounded making you what’s called a #FratBrat

    • Reba Twain lol. Only time I met u was at a bar. And first thing u said to me. Was what? Is it as big as I was told it was? FIRST FUCKING THING U SAID TO ME. So who’s the slut? Lol and I saw how many posts of people saying you doing drugs? Didn’t like it eh. I’m sure the father of the post doesnt like it either when people say that shit eh?

    • Reba Twain and if my 29 year old wife to you is a little girl. Then you have problems.

  25. Tara Major Tara Major says:

    Have you spoken to your brother? If you know drugs are an issue then yes it’s child neglect. No drug addict can properly care for children. In the beginning they try really hard to juggle their life with family and their life with drugs. Some slide the slope faster than others but the neglect of family life gets worse. Bills will stop being paid, food will stop being purchased, basic need purchases will stop, School will begin to missed, unsavoury characters will begin to be invited in the home and this eventually leads to complete abandonment which will have lifetime effects on those kids. I’ve seen it and experienced it first hand(not as an addict but a third party like you). The earlier you can get help for the family, the more likely the kids will bounce back. Waiting and uncertainty will still give you the same result only with longer consequences for the kids and your family. It’s hard to watch someone give everything up for drugs but the survivors of parental drug use need people like us to help them.

  26. A question. Where is the girls’ mother? Is she in the picture? Does your brother work? I would think about reporting the incident to Children’s Aid Society.

  27. Lees LM Lees LM says:

    Would say neglect for sure…you need to talk to your brother about his whereabouts and why he leaves the kids alone

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