Dating Advice… Continued… Continued

So it has been a month since my original post and I must say things have not changed much. I have taken some of the advice of people on here. Tried a paid site, had a more open mind, engaged my communication skills more effectively and even lowered my standards a tad. It has not gone well.

My conclusion is this, the good ones are hiding and not on dating sites. I swear if I speak to one more girl who dumped her loser crackhead abusive boyfriend last week and is trying to find a guy to marry this week, I am going to lose my mind. Ladies one word, codependent. Look it up, it’s what you are if you are jumping on a dating site the day or week you throw out your last man. I swear, I watched a friend on Facebook have a melt down one day about her man and then create a POF and eHarmony profile the next. The sad part is I know some guy is going to fall for her crap, because she’s hot. SMH

For those of you who think I used my posts to weed out some undesirables from the dating sites, you’re right, I did. It’s also extremely ironic how many of the women who got upset over my posts were exactly some of the things I was complaining about.

With that said, a lot of women responded to my last two posts who claimed to be as fed up as I am with the dating scene in Sudbury. Some of you seemed to have a good head on your shoulders, strong, independent and gave me faith that good women do exist in this city. Some of you agreed with all of my points and even wished the guys you met knew what they wanted as much as I do.

Well here is your chance, I got two ticket to see Marianna’s Trench next Tuesday and I am not taking any of the women I have talked to or met on the dating sites. Way to many Red Flags, however I do want to take someone. So If you remember my previous two posts you’ll know enough about me to know if you’d like to go. So comment on this post and tell me you’re interested. I will select someone and message them privately. So yes I will be outing myself on this and you’ll know who I am before you accept. If you want to include a bit about yourself to sweeten the pot by all means.

For those who didn’t read my two original post and don’t want to go hunting. I am a single father with full custody in my mid 30’s, I work, I have hobbies and interests of my own, I have been single for a few years now because I learned to love myself again before putting myself out there and I refuse to settle. I enjoy my me time and I am completely self sufficient.

P.S. Before the people come out to tell me how pathetic this is, remember how many people told me to start thinking outside the box and meet women a different way. I think this is rather cleaver and I am sure others will too.



86 Responses

  1. Alyssa Justine, U may want to check out what is happening around the city U live in b4 commenting about an ‘out of town’ event. js

  2. Fall for who u have a connection with the rest will happen
    We made each other into the perfect other by growing together

    No one is the end result at the start !

  3. No one is exactly what u want and your not exactly what someone wants you both will make a choice to love someone despite the stuff you didn’t like then it will become the stuff u love
    The man I love is not my type my standard my anything I wanted
    He’s the perfect guy for me not perfect at all perfect for me and with love understanding and appreciation our bond grows crazy strong and makes the physical even better
    Is this who I would have chose no
    Am I happy it fell into place
    Omg yes !

  4. Ppl are ppl not checklists
    Ur looking in the wrong places u wanna meet a Girl at the dentist or at a work gathering at a charity event you might have to leave Sudbury to find ur mate that’s how my man found me
    Left Sudbury

  5. Amy Winn Amy Winn says:

    I had the same problem in this shit city. Single for 7 years…I work and I’m focused on a healthy active lifestyle so im in shape and I’m an active mother who cooks,cleans, and has a great evryday routine…. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t find a a decent man in this city….. years, I tried dating sites, let my friends match me up too, i did whatever I could to meet someone genuine… and let me tell you right now…it wasnt until I STOPPED looking and learnt to just enjoy life without the need for partner, and right when I got comfortable and starting to really enjoy my ME time, is when I stumbled on the most wonderful man ever…. happened by fluke, met him at an appointment I had… almost 2 years now with him and I couldn’t be happier. . Point is, I found that good genuine relationships come when u least expect it. So more focus on you and less focus on finding a partner, and it will happen on it’s on.

    Good luck!

  6. I can’t be the only one wondering what u look like ! Don’t be shy… hit em up 😉

  7. Angie Breton Angie Breton says:

    Kudos to you. Best of luck.

  8. Lora Roch Lora Roch says:

    Good for you. Don’t ever ever settle. I’d rather be alone than be lonely with someone I really don’t even want to be with. Teach your child independence, how to love yourself and wait for that special person to show up when least expect it.
    Good luck in your search and journey ☺️

  9. I want an update post to know how well this worked for you! Honestly sounds as though you have figured it out as much we can hope to (love yourself, happy and know what u want/need in a partner). Plus ur a good dad if u have custody of ur kids!
    Kudos to you for going for what you want and not settling.

    Not alot of people can say they have taken the time to love themselves before jumping into something else.
    Also, the fact that you know just how codependent some people (not just women) can be is amazing. You seem very self aware which is an amazing trait.
    Good luck to you and hope it works out.

  10. Shannon Schelling challenged accepted lol

  11. Shannon Schelling lol awe is this you flirting lol :p

  12. Adela Sagle Adela Sagle says:

    Sorry to hear your having a hard time. I went through the same crap…stay away from dating site. Honestly go out and do things you like to do…you’ll find someone with a common interest. Its hard to find a partner these days…everyone is looking for someone to take care of them

  13. Good luck! I hope you find her.

  14. John Brown John Brown says:

    Being so arrogant and narcissistic might be a reason,…you are as you are. What are you going to do,…when you start to pick,…her apart. Good luck

  15. You probably talk too much.

  16. CJ Borne CJ Borne says:

    I found this post rather depressing lol…on another note good luck :).

  17. Liza Kokko Liza Kokko says:

    Dating these days definitely is not for the faint of heart. I don’t normally comment on posts but I just wanted to say I wish you luck and if you find the secret finding a good one let the rest of us single people know please.

  18. Tanya…. I was one of the original commenters, lol. I admire the shit out of this guy for knowing what he wants.

  19. I’m interested in how it works for him also. Me and this guys seems alot alike. I’m a hard working man to a little girl who lives with me full time. Mid 30s also

  20. Tracy Baker Tracy Baker says:

    So maybe just maybe. Yoy give too much to soon. Why not just keep it casual. Go for coffee. Go for a walk. Spend no$$$$. Just a thaught. Where waste $ on someone who I just looking for her next paycheck? They are out there. Maybe slow it wayyyy down?

  21. I commented on your first post. Good on you for being open minded and listening. I hope you find someone great to share your time with!

  22. pm me I know some ladies (not me; I don’t even live there anymore) that might go on a date to a concert…might…I’ll ask but writing this first

  23. Marianna’s Trench is awesome. Seen them twice in concert before. Hoping you find someone to go with. cheers!

  24. Best of luck to you..
    but I’m pretty sure all the “good” women are sitting in their houses alone and fed up with the epoch bags on dating sites….

    Go to the library.
    No good women is gunna be met on dating sites or bars or clubs.

  25. Carie Adams Carie Adams says:

    All those dating sites seem to be for random hook ups only! If your looking for more I’ve come to realize those sites aren’t where you should be looking! I’ve read your two other posts! This is a great idea and totally outside the box! I hope you find your love story!

  26. Firstly I’m happily in love and committed.

    However I do wish you the future you desire. You’re not looking for ms right now you’re looking for your forever. 100% respect for risking the trolls.

    At the same time I know when I was still in the dating world, many men sold themselves as tired of the crackhead drama (I’ve never used) but get to know them… many showed their true colors to gravitate to women whom were troubled.

    So for the woman you selected future happiness, I’m hoping you are genuine. Too many fakes on both sides.

  27. Love this. Straight to the point. Good for you and good luck

  28. Mike Charron Mike Charron says:

    Unfourtunetly, they usually end up running back to the abusive crackheads because they’re abusive crackheads … welcome to Sudbury lol

  29. Good luck never give up….your enough

  30. Lisa Dunbar Lisa Dunbar says:

    We have a friends group where we get together individually or as a group and do things. You can meet a lot of nice people who aren’t looking but aren’t opposed to meeting someone…..
    Check it out!
    For Friends Only (FFS!)

  31. You’re right not all good woman use dating sites. Some of us prefer to meet people the old fashioned way.

  32. Definitely thinking outside the box and it’s brilliant!!! I’ve loved reading your posts- wish more men were like this.

  33. You know what, I don’t agree with all the post saying “stop looking and you will find it”, I work full time and other than that spend time with family and close friends, so where will I find it? Lol

    Everything you are saying sounds like me, I don’t wanna do the dating sites, so many people aren’t ready for a real relationship, I’ve also spent the last few years working on me, quit smoking, went to the gym, joined a baseball team, poured myself into my work , I have a very successful career, but still something missing!!!

    I applaud your courage , and think it’s great you know what your looking for, as do I!

    So you know what!!!!!

    I’d be interested if you want to bring me! ☺️
    Never hurts to think outside the box!!!!!

  34. Don’t lower your standards!

    Have you tried joining a league of some sort? Bowling, baseball? Volunteering at a pet place?

    I wish you lots of luck, and hope you find someone.

  35. Paul Normand Paul Normand says:

    Best of luck to you ….finding the right person is like finding Easter eggs in the snow especially the winter we had this year ….lol

  36. I agree with u totally…I am much older but I gave up dating yrs ago….if he falls on my doorstep….maybe….lol

  37. Most times, a well deserved and loving partner comes along when we are NOT looking.
    Sometimes when we try too hard, we never end up with the results we want. Just be urself and do ur own thing, ur princess will find u. Just be patient.

  38. Kelly Jane Kelly Jane says:

    If you don’t find anyone suitable I’d love to buy the tickets from you cheap so I can take my daughter, otherwise good luck!!

  39. Just focus on yourself, your issues, things in your life u could fix about u!? So when the right one comes, you will be ready in yourself and for then

  40. far from being pathetic. It is called being comfortable with your own company. She is out there, and you will find her.

  41. Honestly you just can’t be searching! You just need to go about your days and live, the best love finds itself it doesn’t keep pushing to look because they are desperate, when u become desperate that’s when yuh end up finding the wrong person, you just need to be patient sometimes for two years

  42. Shannon Schelling me too! And geeze I’m wondering where this guy was when i was single but c’est la vie. I can’t really complain with my hubby he’s the bomb lol

  43. Oh i wish i could go but I’m not single but I am an awesome friend to talk too lol. Good job on still trying and putting yourself out there yet again. Hope you have fun and find that right women for you.

  44. Ha, this a well thought out and paid for out of the box thought. I hope it works 🙂

  45. Billy Church Billy Church says:

    bro snoop dogs coming to sudbury!!! quit fishing with marshmellows. get 3 ground section tickets and you will have a lady on each arm

  46. Had you posted this last week before I made my schedule I would have said I was down. I work until midnight so I’m out lol. Hope you find someone to bring and have an awesome time.

  47. Congrats on thinking out of the box. If you were 15 yrs older I’d be throwing my hat in the ring. Good luck

  48. Never lower your standards, maybe just adjust your expectations.

  49. Have you tried, not trying.

  50. Who is marianna’s trench?

  51. first off….your grammar, sentence structure and spelling set you apart from 95% of the people who post here…so THANK YOU for not making my brain hurt while reading your post. It allowed me to read to the end!….Good Luck! That will be a fun concert and a great first date!

  52. I’d go on a date with you

  53. I think this is a great idea..definitely out of the box…goodluck! P.s great taste in music!

  54. Jessica Bard Jessica Bard says:

    Hmm Snoop Dogg and we have a deal

  55. Good luck and enjoy the concert.

  56. Jill Rogers Jill Rogers says:

    I would have thought there would be more women commenting on this to enjoy the evening out…well…hopefully this works out for ya! You dont know til you try

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