Are we there yet?
Can we just cut the shit, bury the hatchet, and move the fuck on already? Life is hard enough.
You do the thing you destroyed everything to get. Keep your fiance and your side chicks. I get a break. We pretend everything is hunkie dory and you pretend like you’re not an asshole every other weekend and I’ll sing your praises. Win/win.
I’m sorry baby. You’re right. I was wrong. You’re amazing and I’m a piece of shit. Sound good? I kiss your feet and we call it a day.
..And they all lived happily ever after.